“Kung Fury” is the story of a 1985 Miami police officer who becomes the chosen one, Kung Fury, when he is simultaneously struck by lightning and bitten by a cobra. The titular movie character uses his newfound mystical martial arts powers to become “the greatest cop in the world”.
I suspect the writer, director, and star of “Kung Fury,” David Sandberg, secretly read my journal from when I was 10 years old. Sandberg then decided to make the greatest movie ever, with every action fantasy a 10-year-old boy could have. Don’t make that last line weird.
“Kung Fury” is a story-telling masterpiece, with amazing visuals, that features all of the following: Lamborghini driving, a killer robotic arcade machine, Triceracop (a British talking dinosaur cop), battling Hitler, time travel, Laser-Raptors (literally exactly what they sound like), a pair of viking ladies with machine guns (one of which rides a giant wolf while the other rides a T-Rex), amazing quips (“Tank you”), cartoon snakes riding flying waverunners… Hang on a sec, I gotta catch my breath… Did I mention that the production company is named “Laser Unicorns”? There’s even a David Hasselhoff cameo and enough glorious 80’s synthpop to keep anyone happy.
The movie has a run-time of 31 minutes, which I assume is because audiences couldn’t handle any more awesomeness in one sitting. The average human can only take so much excitement until their heart explodes. Maybe not, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.
“Kung Fury” is available free on YouTube and you should definitely join the 40 million-plus people who have checked it out. Normally I’d mention any complaints or negatives about the movie, but there are zero here.
Is “Kung Fury” the greatest movie ever? Undeniably yes, without question, at least to 10 year old me. Adult-me adores it as well. I give “Kung Fury” 5 out of 5 Laser-Raptors.
“Kung Fury” movie poster from IMDB. Retrieved Mar 8.
